to: my "number one" ,

-you were, and always will be .


I can't hold this in
forever ..
(It's as if I'm holding in air ..)

it's not the right time

for me to emit

this ..

strange feelings overwhelm me ,
every time
i see you .

as they try to take over ,
i hold back .

feelings I never knew
were possible .
feelings I've ignored ,

the same ones that have
stuck by me .
the same ones that won't leave me.

the smile that forms on my face,
the one you always see ,
accompanies the smile that invariably
forms on yours .

(you tend to make me smile. uncontrollably.)

I can't help but to turn away,

at the sight of you... with your other.
wishing you were by my side
instead
of in some absence .

I've tried repeatedly
to converse my heart's desire
with my eyes

-and i guess I've disguised my words
ever so perfectly-

to the point that
I fail in revealing
all that it wants you to know.

Sometimes ,
i notice
you find it hard to look me in the eye.

too afraid ,
I'll expose your hidden secret .


you are aware
of the fact that
i love you ,

& to my knowledge ,
you love me .

but at the same time
we both seem unsure of
which love we mean .

reminiscing
over the thousands of times we've spent together .
searching for clues
that could lead me to an answer .
little hints that would reveal
everything you have concealed

whether, you like me
the way I like you
and all of the feelings
you've always felt for me .

you come close to everything
I could possibly expect
& want
from a guy ..
the same everything
I can't seem to find
in anyone else .

in front of my face
this whole time .

the only one i could ever completely
trust with my heart .

i've grown to admire
everything about you -
everything that makes you

you.

starting from almost nothing
to what we've grown to be ,

on to what we will grow to be .

somehow ,
i think you already knew all of this.

somehow ..