differences ?

"Why'd you come here?"
-"long story"
"you shoulda' jus stayed where you was at."
*(second period dialogue between Janae & I)

I don't know why I came here ,
I just know I couldn't stay there .

Everyday, I wonder ..
Why? Just why?
and then I return
back to the same, forgotten realization
that there is no answer
to such a question
or maybe there is
one of which I
remain unaware of.

I feel so..
different
here.
& being african american, you would think that
I'm supposed to be like them.
Like, we're all supposed to be
that way .
-fitting & molding the stereotype they've set for "our kind" .

As a matter of fact,
I feel "different"
everywhere I go .
Sometimes weirder than most
and other times just
different ..

being "chameleon like"
never works for me .
it only makes me transparent .
or even more ..

I long for greater confidence in these differences
all that separates me
from you .