drowning in feeelings .

i feel like writing ,
i feel like crying ,
i feel like listening to any song that'll hopefully make me feel better
than i do right now.
i'm currently listening to "so beautiful" by musiq soulchild , wiping these tears off my face , rapidly writing a thousand words in lipstick all over the mirror in this room
-just until i learn to appreciate the person staring back at me .

it took me a while to actually look in the mirror & smile at the things that i love about myself , while laughing at the things i dislike .
but now i'm straying away from that , paying more attention to the things that i wish would disappear , certain things i wish i could permanently change . . .
the things that make me . . . me .
the things that make me different from the next girl .

i'm constantly comparing myself ,
& i thought i've grown out of that .

apparently not . . .

& at the end of the day ,
i'd rather take confidence
over change .