rehabilitation.

" how could the same man that makes me so mad , turn right around & kiss me so soft?"

-india arie

i just realized that my mother is one of the very few people that TRULY listens to me , & my problems.

she isn't the type to cleverly turn the conversation onto her ,

& no matter how irritating it may be to listen to me go on-and-on ,

she never gets tired of listening.

& i love how she always gives feedback - whether i want to hear it or not.

i left out pieces of my "problem" because I had to keep in mind that she is *still my mother , & not my friend. certain things i'd rather her not know.

she called my current frustrating situation a "lovers quarrel" - lol

because he & I aren't seeing eye to eye.

it's so funny how females can argue for hours , but males won't .

they'd rather let the situation go , or try to ignore it (or you) completely.

it amazes me.

i wonder if he's thinking about this as much as I am ,

probably not.

my mother told me to keep myself occupied ,

"he'll come around, for now just focus on what you have to do. go do homework or something. *laughs*"

he talks about us lasting ,

but i continuously wonder how long he'll put up with me & my "ish",

if i keep "crying" .

(regardless of how much he loves me ; or cares about me. )

honestly, how much can a guy take?

we'll work on it.

it's funny how , the more he says that we have to stop letting little things affect our relationship , the more "little things" occur.

i don't know any other way to express how I feel about certain things.

he calls it "crying" , i call it self expression.

i'm trying to stop , but that in itself is difficult.

i just want us to stop "fighting".

maybe , at times when we're together, non-verbal expression we'll be enough.

at the end of the day,
i can't easily change the way that i am .

people in relationships need space.
but when you love someone as much as i love him ,
it's not that easy.

i don't see him that much,
& when I do , it makes this "addiction" even worse *lol*

(i'm over here wondering if i should backspace the word addiction , or bold the quotation marks)

-"yea, maybe i'm selfish, i want you to myself i can't help it."

-slum village