blog note.

with no idea of anything to write about, i figured ..
hey, since i'm up at 11 something at night, restless & unable to sleep ,
i might as well combine a few thoughts into a lil' somethin' somethin' .

*for myself.
not for you.
therefore,
i'm not asking for any
negative judgements
no thank you,
not tonight .*

i'm thinking..
at this point in my life, nothing's extraordinary, but then, nothing's extremely terrible. I'm working on so much. wondering if pleasing myself is the right thing to achieve, compared to pleasing others. I guess i got tired of hearing my mother blab on about how selfish I can sometimes be. Unaware of these selfish acts, I'm trying my hardest not to hear her say anything of the sort. I haven't ticked my father off to the point of explosion in a few weeks. Good thing? Or is his stress, frustration, and anger still gradually bottling up inside of him? School completely bores and sometimes irritates me. & I'm wondering if it's the lack of good education, the constant repetitive school days, the everyday weed smokers, the gossip talking - backstabbing females, the babbling-so-much-to-the-point-of-loving-to-hear-himself-talk principal, or the fact that no one seems to be worth my time, that irritates and annoys me the most. I feel ready to move ahead, but then every now & again I question that. I have a semi-nonexistent love life, and for some reason that doesn't seem to bother me at all. I would love to meet more people that actually have intellect, *ones that actually know what that is.* People that think outside the box & ones that challenge my mind with every conversation. People who are far from being typical. Even though it seems as if they're a rare kind, I still wouldn't mind somehow meeting a few. I've met three beings that fit the majority of these qualities--cool kids i tell you. lol. As I've said before, I have the same amount of respect for everyone. & it's up to them if that amount increases or decreases. Why are good friends so difficult to find? Once they are found, they aren't promised to stay, which is or used to be the hardest part for me. I love how people think they know me, when they really don't. & then on the other hand, I love how some make up their mind that they don't know me, and never put forth effort to learn the Erika they observe. I confess to being ignorant towards the subject of vegetarianism & it's lifestyle. I'm learning more now. Family? hah. Mine as a whole is broken up, categorized, separated, and left alone. No one's willing to change or admit their wrong doings. Writing is my escape. I have a few others. But that's the main one. I'll admit it. I like tooo much attention. I don't like gogo, for the record. Different, can sometimes be an understatement. I prefer unique. I enjoy neutral weather. I can't stand the heat & humidity. & now, i'm finding that I'm not too fond of the cold either. I diagnosed myself anemic, because the doctors haven't yet. I rarely, hardily ever, drink soda. & if i do, it's diet something. Twilight is my new favorite book. I can't dance, i'll admit that too. lol. =) I text nonstop. although, I don't really like initiating conversations. I don't really call people. I talk to whoever calls me. I have a really good memory, although I'm working on leaving the past in the past. I'm a regular blogger.