suffocating

so yeaaa ,
i'm trying this new thing where
i try to (almost completely) forget about the past
& all it's contents.
for the better -
i'll think toward the future .

at this moment in time
7:52 p.m. of january 18, 2009
I am swimming in confusion,
drowning in worry,
& in the midst of it all
I'm trying to catch my breath
to keep from suffocating .

I feel unneeded
postponed & put off.

& even though I'm supposed to care less ,
i can't stop caring ..
forget it
the more i think about it.