Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you? Why have you gone away?

Christmas is on it's way, creeping up among us,
for a few more weeks until it finally makes it's arrival .

my immediate family consists of myself, and my two parents.
our Christmases are usually just like any other day.

to satisfy my complaint of the lack of decoration around our house,
my parents put up the small, artificial, pre-decorated christmas tree
that they stash in the basement throughout the rest of the year ,
-& that's our "decoration ."
and as I recall, one Christmas, when I was younger,
my father took a pair of red pants that I had to use as a tree skirt .
not "homemade" at all .

My presents, if any, are usually things that I had picked out during Nov. and Dec. ,
things wrapped for the hell of it.
& It's funny how everything that I ask for during these two months, my mom says
"Merry Christmas" after she buys it, spoiling the traditional Christmas present surprise.

Usually on Christmas day, we go over to my uncle's stepson's house
and eat dinner, socialize, and exchange gifts .
but not anymore .
My uncle's in the process of building a house ,
and they claim that it's too much money to put into Christmas day dinner .
So that basically ruins the big traditional Christmas day meal.

I miss our old Christmases.
when we were young and spoiled,
with presents surrounding the tree ,
the video-camera: to catch surprised looks,
and all the happiness & excitement.
With us screaming, "Christmas is coming! , Christmas is coming!"

I know that there's way more to Christmas than this,
but I'm just reminiscing on what's no longer going to be there.

I think that the older we get, the more Christmas becomes any other day.

As for me, I have a few close close friends to exchange gifts with , (my best friends)
& no boyfriend or anything to make the holiday sentimental .
(& for the record, that wasn't a complaint, or a neccessarily bad thing)

Santa was never real ,
except in the Christmas songs that we liked to sing
for fun.

Yea, Christmas was something back then.
I would say on a more positive note
that I could try this year to make it worthwhile ,
I'll just see what happens.