april 12th.

different kinds of feelings all at once.
feelings of independence and maturity,
and for myself, ones of self-consciousness and loneliness.
today felt, good.
except -- if i had one of my own,
someone there with me
uhm, mentally? or emotionally?
or just someone to ease that feeling of loneliness.
i'd be fine.
well i was fine, friends and family cured half of that.
but he's still missing.

then after all the excitement and rush of freedom,
and forgetfulness.
the phone call came, which rushed the beat of my heart,
causing it to beat faster and faster.
i love that.
after that everyones smile faded,
and we all lost the excitement that we had when we were on our own.
we ALL needed this day.
as a chance to get away.
no one telling us no,
or what to do or where to go.
ALL of it was up to us.
until,

we got service.