4:40 a.m.

It's 4:40 a.m. & I just remembered that everyone's clocks have to be set back an hour ,
which explained why the clock in my room said 5 something & my cell phone said 4 .
I have no clue of as to why I'm up so early .
I fell asleep at nine something from a headache .
I have to get up in about 3 hours or so ,
for church & I really don't feel like going .
I'm kind of hungry ,
but it's rather pointless to eat around this time .
I really hope we do something fun today .
I need to go shoppin' ,
once again ,
but this time for next weekend (the one coming up) ,
but then again ,
i don't even know if i'll be going ,
the drive is 2 hours or so ,
& I don't know what mom 'll say to that .
A part of me would want to further persuade her into letting me go
inspite of the drive ,
but another part of me could care less .
What does it change ?
-me going down there .
We'll still remain the same ; this way .

The "mind manipulator" says I think too much ,
was that just truth ?
or further manipulation ?

I just don't feel like riding the emotional rollercoaster all over again ..
& getting confused about different feelings .
Ones that took a vacation , some that are still there , and some that 'll soon be gone for good .
He should 've never said "I love you" ,
because at that very moment ,
those three words ,
messed my mind up .